This absentee blogger is finally back and noticing I've been neglecting my writing! I'm fully vested in Vacation Bible School, and the event is this week. It's the culmination of six months of planning. So, I promise after this week, I'll be back. The hightlight of my week is having my nephew ask Tom's sister to come give me a hug before he left. It wasn't prompted by mom and totally unscripted. After he turned around and left, he started rattling on about all the fun stuff he'd been doing. It made every minute I've spent on this worth it! I was almost verclempt (talk amongst yourselves).

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

I sit here watching Sidney engrossed in a cartoon on Netflix, and it’s nearly impossible to believe three years ago, she was a shy, scared, and withdrawn 16 month old. We are celebrating three years as a family of four. So many days have passed since our first meeting in a governmental building across the world in Changsha China. And on that day, despite the distance I felt from anything familiar, it was obvious to me I was in exactly the right place as I felt the natural ease of Sidney’s slight frame slip into my arms the first time.

Flying to Guanzhou

In that moment, it was blatantly obvious someone larger than myself was orchestrating the events taking place. Our prayers were answered. But, in the same moment I felt the world was infinitely cruel. I thought I had prepared myself for what it was going to feel like seeing children who had survived without parents, but I was ill prepared for my heart.  It was broken thinking about the nights she spent alone without a hug and kiss at bedtime, that cultural differences made her special need somehow separate from the rest of Chinese society, but mostly feelings which mourned her existence prior to the moments we were living in the building where we first met.  

What is this strange furry thing?

I was ripping her away from the only life she had ever known. She didn’t ask to get in a strange van for the first time in her life, out of familiar sounds, smells, and sights to be drive through mountainous terrain to be delivered to this harry faced man and strange speaking woman. This was all over her face as her black eyes studied me through the slats of her crib the first night. Over the next two weeks, we watched her slowly come out of her shell as she experienced the love and attention of real parents.

I’m so grateful; we followed the path God laid in front of our family. My life will certainly never be the same in the most wonderful way.

When it's summertime, and the weather is hot....

As Eli and I were pondering an online photo of S*rena Williams VERY muscled arms, he looked at her Caucasian competitor. “Are they sisters, he asked?” I bit my tongue as I went to point out the obvious difference. I’m an adoptive mom, but there are moments I forget Eli is growing up with an Asian sister. His definition of sister will never be defined by race, and it’s so awesome. I loved seeing his look of absolute sincerity.

On to even deeper topics, we are swimming nonstop. Like everyone else, in the country, we are enduring blistering temperatures. Eli and I tried to fry an egg on the pavement during Sidney’s nap, but we didn’t have success. After our failed experiment, Eli asked if it might be possible to sacrifice the hood of my new car which was met with a resounding no.

Sidney is my little fish. Her confidence is frightening. Too short to meet the height requirement, she and Tom were going down the waterslide today together. She was in such a hurry to get on the slide, she went down by herself. Her slight 27 lbs. frame shot out the end of the slide and plunged under water. Thankfully, she knew to hold her breath, came up with little more than a slight cough, and asked to do it all over again.

Forecast = Storms

 If you read my blog, you know I keep it real. I share, because I want families starting out to understand this is a long journey. For the millionth time, this is the stuff I wanted to know before we traveled. I knew the attachment issues in the first days home, but what happens after three or four years?  And I can answer for all the sunshine and rainbows are storms. Sometimes they come in and pass quickly with a light sprinkle. Other times they create a torrential down poor.  It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Sidney’s emotional state regress. It was a reminder my tough survivor is equally fragile. 

Sometimes I can identify the trigger, and other times, I’m not so lucky. Typically, it’s a sight, sound, or smell. During those times, I remember as hard as it is to watch it all unfold, it’s healing. She’s working through something. As quickly as it moves through, I see the sun peaking out from behind the clouds. Gone are the murky sad eyes, and usually something random is said about China. She’s processing her story at a four year old level. 

Can you tell I spend a lot of time finding random drawings around the house? I love her flowers!

Thank goodness my girl will be back on her regular schedule next week. I’ve shared we send her to daycare three mornings a week for a couple of hours. She needs structure. When there’s no structure or things change, she’s typically ripe for an episode like we experienced this week. So, next week we are back on track with her daycare provider back from vacation. 

OK, I’m off to create 4^th of July treats. Hopefully, my next blog will be more festive and fun!

A little of this, a little of that

 My kitchen is knee deep in VBS decorations, modge podge, cardstock, and all things VBS. Chaos is reigning our house, and I’m trying to find some semblance of order. I’m exactly a month from the event. As usual, I am sleeping with a pen and paper by my bed and waking up in the night, unable to go back to sleep while thinking about what needs to be done. It’s all worth it the first night the kids walk in.  

I got to see my cousin AnDee again this weekend and wasn't afraid. We had a great time together!

Outside of creating curriculum for 50 kids (it will be closer to 75 by the event), we are finally, blessedly into a summer routine! Speaking of structure, I’m finding another way to keep peace in our house over summer. I was introduced to the marble jar by another adoptive mom. The crux of the marble jar is good behavior and helping with chores. Marbles are added for positive behavior. Negative behavior like mouthing off, pinching brother, deciding it’s appropriate to have a fit for no reason, backtalk, and any other numbers of negative behaviors mean marbles are subtracted. I like it, because more often than not they receive them for positive behavior. I only need to threaten to take a marble from the jar, and I’m typically met with a willingness to cooperate. It’s been a great way to help Sidney understand the consequences of her actions. I’ve written many times she has sensory issues. 

Tom and I were talking the other day about her sensory issues.  We talked about how hard it is to help other people to understand. We’ve never had her formally diagnosed. I am nervous about doing so, because her issues are typically mistaken for ADHD. That’s a scary thought. We continue working with her in other ways keeping her on a very strict schedule, keeping lots of sensory activities available.  I also went on Pint*rest and found a list of sensory activities. I will post what I found in a day or so. If it helps any other sensory parents, activate an account on P*nterest and pull up the word sensory. I was amazed!

Humor me with one more vacation picture.

 OK, off to cut up 10 packages of tissue paper.

Finally, a moment to blog!

We spent 7 glorious, and uninterrupted, days in the north woods. We were so far north, we didn't have cell service! I'll admit, I started sweating a little. No cell service? Then I realized, it was a blessing in disguise. Uninterrupted family time without phones ringing. It was beautiful! I'd like to say we could have stayed anywhere without cell service. I'm ashamed to admit, I enjoy creature comforts. This year I requested something outside of a campsite with a real roof. Not only did I get a roof, I got wifi! 

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Today, we decided to swim. I remembered my rambunctious little girl getting overzealous last year in the pool. I had to watch her at all times. Meaning, she doesn't have any fear. She'd barrel into the water without looking twice. But, last year, like my stubborn German self, I decided she wasn't going to need one of the neoprene swim vests I saw other kids sporting in the pool. No, I didn't need one as a kid, and I wasn't buying into the gimmick. Guess who's eating her words? A neoprene swim vest is being shipped. Another mom was visiting with me, observing my struggle. She commented she had the same issue, and she had a swim vest in her size sitting in the car. I'll admit, I tried it thinking it wouldn't work. It's genius! She stays afloat, and she's learning to do more things independently in the water.

Eli is still in the shallow end. He's not ready for over his head, and that's fine. Hopefully, it will be like everything else he takes at his own pace.I've learned to never hurry him.  10 years old is such a combination of growing up but maintaining some amount of innocence. He walked up to me with a serious question while wearing his goggles upside down with water floating on the bottoms. I love it!

I know. I'm backlit!

 OK, back to all things VBS. I'm behind from vacation.

I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the earth! Three guesses where we are? Vacation! As it turns out, there are places cell reception can't reach, but mom can still have access to wireless internet. I'll have more time to update in a couple of days, but here's a couple of photos!

Look mom, my favorite "flow -ders" (flowers).

Daddy attempting to sooth an out of sorts girl on the first night. And to clarify, yes we put a life jacket on her when she goes on the dock!

The Dora pole  got an extra workout this week!

And, in case you think I've forgotten about the 10 year in this family, he dodged photos the entire time!