Who am I kidding writing this blog post? I can barely keep my eyes open. A boating afternoon in 94 degree heat, barbeque at Aunt Jill’s house, and finally, blessedly, taking a seat in the air conditioning, and we’re all passed out in front of a cartoon. Tom’s parent’s pontoon was a great start to the summer!
This week was Eli’s birthday. He wasn’t in a hurry ten years ago while I waited two weeks past my due date, and nothing’s changed. This unhurried mentality remains. Most mornings, on our way out the door, I say “Eli shoes,” and Eli automatically replies “Mom don’t rush me!” He thrives in the simplicity of no set agenda, and loves being home, doing his own thing.
Raising a child so content without a schedule is the opposite of his sister. Sidney feeds on a set schedule of social interaction. We decided to keep her in a few hours of daycare a week. We see stability in her sensory issues as a result. It’s helping her maintain her understanding of appropriate behavior. Two hours playing with her friends mean I don’t see the typical behaviors associated with sensory kids. Less picking at her brother (if you have a sensory kid, you understand what I mean by picking), less floundering and a higher degree of focus (going from one activity to the next without ever really settling down), less scratching, and generally a contented girl.
As a mom, I know she needs this interaction to help her function. Take away her sensory issues, and you still have a child that thrives in highly structured schedules. Isn’t it practical to think a child whose sole existence, the first 16 months, revolved around rigorous schedules, remains? But, for some reason, it wasn’t easy for mom to accept this conclusion. As her mother, I want to help situations work through conventional means or staying home with mom. But, as adoptive parents we know conventional parenting doesn’t work to heal our children’s emotional wounds. So, despite my desire to have her here all the time, the six hours she spends in daycare are what’s best for her.
OK, I’m off to continue creating the black angry bird. It’s Eli’s birthday cake. I always tell myself, I’m getting a store bought cake. Then I look at the price for a cake mix and start thinking about how “easy” it will be to make a cake. The next thing I know I’m wrist deep in black food coloring.
And since today’s Memorial Day, I want to take a moment to say thank you to our country’s fallen soldiers for your sacrifice.