Daily Ramblings

I am enjoying the normal pace of the day, knowing six years ago life had taken an uncertain turn. I returned from working on a graduate school project to find Tom's mom playing with Eli and his cousins. We chatted about my niece AnDee, recently home from China. Later the next day, Tom's mother died suddenly of a heart attack. Like so many women with heart disease, she had no idea. Though I understand, the abrutpness of her departure is not for us to understand, I have found positive changes in my life as a result of her death. I stopped worrying about the most trivial of matters in life, knowing each day is a gift. I make a point of never saying a day is truly bad. Isn't there always something positive that happens or something a person can learn from?


Certainly, tough times give a person strength to do things like adopt children. We were ready to have another child, and I don't think we would have considered adopting. It took me a longer period of time to understand I can't stop taking a specific medication and have the same quality of life. If I hand't gone through this to see the medication work, I might have gone off the meds and gotten pregnant. There is nothing wrong with this decision, however I wouldn't have had the blessing of Sidney in my life. Something, I can't imagine. I knew before we traveled, she was meant for our family, and this has been evident over the last 20 months.


Sidney is cuddling on the couch next to me. I so hate moments like this. Of course, I say this feciciously. She is a bit clingy the last couple of days. This is to be expected after three nights with her grandparents while Tom and I went to Chicago. Tom and I know we have a strong marriage, because we take a break from everything to focus on one another for a couple of days. This has been a mainstay in our lives. I can't imagine being one of the many mothers I have seen that never takes time away with their husband to remember the time before they had kids. I knew Sidney would go through some anxious behaviors coming home. I am a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom, so I told myself if I ever had a 9-5 job or traveled for work, we would spend a lot more time apart.

Still, it amazes me after all this time, she does not completely understand we will always come back. Much of this is played out in not letting me out of her site over the last couple of days. Prior to our departure, I was able to walk upstairs without her following me and crying.


 OK, there is a flying cat (Webkinz) coming across the livingroom. The stuffed cat has now been leashed, so it doesn't run away. I think it's time for me to get off the computer.