The Craziness of LIfe

I wish I could sum last week up easily, but I don’t think I stopped in any one place long enough to think about what was going on. The week started with saying goodbye to the kids for a night in Rochester, MN where Tom’s dad had surgery for cancer. We are VERY relieved that his surgery was successful. On the shuttle driving to the hospital we received a phone call from Tom’s aunt that his grandma had passed away.

To avoid confusion, I’ll let you know Tom’s parents were divorced when he was around six or seven, so both his parents remarried shortly after. His mom passed away seven years ago, however her husband (now remarried, are you confused yet?) maintained contact with his grandma even while she had dementia in the nursing home. Knowing her condition, it wasn’t a huge shock, and we are mostly relieved for her not having to stay in her previous mental state.

That being said, we left Rochester after two nights. His dad was in the ICU for a period of time. It wasn’t anything life threatening, but it’s never fun to hear someone is stuck in intensive care. We also had Eli’s first communion in church on Maundy Thursday. Eli said as we walked into the entrance of the church, “Tonight I become a man.” Not quite buddy.

Waiting for the egg hunt with Eli's early morning bedhead.

On Good Friday, we had the funeral for Tom’s grandma. This was only after Tom went to the visitation Thursday night before Eli’s first communion. Thereafter things settled into a normal pace for about 12 hours until Saturday morning when we prepared for Sidney’s birthday which took place on Easter.

Why couldn't the Easter bunny bring me a
Miss Piggy matchbox car?

Today I have been informed there were not enough people at her party. I told Sidney I assume receiving and Easter basket and opening presents wasn’t really fun, so maybe I should take them back. Let’s just say I received a contradictory expression in return. March 30^th was also four years since we received Sidney’s referral. I couldn’t ever have imagined God would put a girl such equal parts sweet and sassy into my life.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

Hand Hiatus

Yesterday we went in for a checkup on Sidney’s right hand. I try to update every time we go, because I see the hits on my blog of people from all over the world seeking out information on fibular hemimelia and complex syndactyly. Today I’m focusing on her hands. Surgery was completed in January 2010 on her right hand, so this is the hand of most concern. Both hands are considered complex syndactyly, however two of her three existing fingers on her right hand were webbed. I’m not sure if this is the politically correct way, but her fingers were permanently fused together with nails fused making it a case which is classified as complex.

Waiting for the first surgery. She's so little!

In the first procedure, our hand surgeon released the fused fingers using a skin graft off her hip. To the outside observer, it seems the surgeon should be able to simply cut the fingers apart. Sorry, I know that’s graphic, however it seems somewhat straightforward. Not so. An intricate set of incisions in a zigzag pattern separated her tiny fingers. The graft assisted in creating enough skin to make the digits independent of one another. What took place later was six weeks in a cast and another several weeks in a splint. Both allowed the skin grafts to heal completely. What was left was dense skin on the insides of her fingers which were incredibly sensitive to touch. Coupled with her sensory issues, it made any kind of physical therapy difficult.

Newly separated fingers

Over the past two years, we have continued visiting our hand surgeon and other medical specialists in order to make sure the scar tissue and skin allowed for growth and mobility of her pinkie. With growth and scar tissue, her pinkie is in a permanently bent position. Over time, this causes damage to the joint. Complicating factors is an additional bone in the tip of her pinkie crooking her finger in toward the other. This is part of her hand anomaly and under normal circumstances; a person doesn’t have this second bone in the tip of their finger. If you look at her nail on this particular finger, it’s physically wider on the nail. 

We have known for a while this will need to be correctly, however we continued to wait as long as possible. Her emotional growth over the past three years is nothing short of miraculous. Really the special needs have been secondary. We forget. There are times I look at a five fingered child, and my natural response is the child’s hand is grotesquely wide. No, it’s actually a healthy hand. It’s just this is my normal. I don’t see it. I don’t say I forget to sound like a parent that’s so above needing to even react to her special need. I say it in all honesty. She is thriving, and it’s not on my radar as I watch her coming home saying, “Learning is fun mommy!”

However, we know we can’t allow the joint to contract long enough that we cause permanent damage. Honestly, I’ve had so much anxiety as we’ve made this decision. There’s a constant balancing act between what’s physically necessary and cosmetically unnecessary. She hates having a cast. It’s heavy and uncomfortable, and can I be frank? (Yes Tom, you can be Tom if I can be Frank). She’s full of piss and vinegar the entire time she has a cast on. She hates it, and who could blame her? I’m overjoyed the surgeon said only three weeks with the cast on. I’m holding her to that timeline. We need it off as soon as possible for everyone involved!

Waiting for our appointment last fall.

So as hard as it is to think of another surgery, I know there is someone greater than myself orchestrating this entire event. This is another blog post. Our surgeon has jury duty, so we set it for April 16^th with an alternate date of May 7^th. She loves the cabin we go to in northern WI, and she loves to swim. Both activities we do over summer. It’s an end goal.  More than any trepidation, I’m thrilled this will be completely healed before she goes back to school in the fall for kindergarten. I thought we might be into next fall before this took place. Now I know she will be ready when it’s time.

Okay, I’m off to my busy Saturday!

Roundup

I’ve started a new blog post at least three times before today, and none of them are posted. It was an eventful week! Wednesday was wrought with uncertainty as Sidney was convinced she would never know what to do in Kindergarten roundup. As her teacher Mrs. A. says, “She’s all about business.” She loves knowing what to do next and thrives in a very structured routine. I knew as soon as she saw her friends inside the kindergarten classroom, everything was going to be okay, but I was unsure if some of her sensory stuff and issues with body basics might pop up under the stress of the new environment.

Watching brothers band concert. Sorry I can't post the photos of Eli playing, because they have kids playing I don't know. 

She went through the morning with no problems. This was a huge relief. In addition to all the other uncertainties, I was concerned about her schedule leading up to the event. Multiple snow days have thrown her into a tizzy. As long as each day is like the last, Sidney is great. If something is alterned, it’s like she’s wired with a panic alarm. Her behavior shifts from calm to a difficult demeanor with more scratching and temper tantrums like I saw after roundup or night terrors which had seen during the week. But the good news is she was able to get through the day without upset during the process which is a huge hurdle.

Our snowy backyard looking toward the neighbors.

The next day the kindergarten teacher approached me saying she was going to send the papers home with her in preschool the following day. I was in shocked disbelief. Did this mean she wasn’t going? I was reassured it meant nothing of the sort. She had zero issues, and there was no reason to meet with us before the fall when we typically talk with the teacher. This is usually to inform the teacher Sidney’s only special need is her need to be special. 

Thanks for plowing us out Dustin!
Tom will be in one for a week in Colorado this summer. 

Vegas Vacation (Kids Version)

Do you ever have one of those days when you catch yourself sitting on the bathroom floor talking to the cat? It was a really great day, but as my mom told me after staying with the kids, he’s somehow soothing. And I’d like to tell you the remainder of the day provided more clarity, however I’m looking across the room at Tom wearing a tiara with the words “Happy Birthday” across the top. Tom and I are not good about celebrating our own birthdays. I realized it’s really important to our kids to celebrate it. Even if it means spending $10 for a cake mix, frosting, and grilling outside during the winter.  

So on to the real reason I’m posting. Here are more photos from last weekend. Eli and Sidney spent time with Grandma JeanJean and Grandpa BobBob in a combination of time at their house and ours. Grandma JeanJean choreographed the routine of dropping off and picking up for school and Boy Scouts. We are VERY appreciative for the time away which leads to my next statement.

Read my previous post on marriage and the importance of couples getting away in relationship to the comment I made. This is for you Mom, my ever faithful blog reader. My previous blog post advised, “We spend 18 years raising our kids out of what we hope is 40 or 50 years married.” My mother corrected me today by reminding me they have been married 44 years and don’t plan on going anywhere soon. Hilarious. What an example to my own marriage.

Hanging out in the snow. 

Sidney at my mom and dad's house having fun with the dollhouse my dad made me as a kid. Sidney looks so grown up in this picture! 

Vegas Vacation

I woke up from my third nap today and am finally accomplishing something before I have to start working again.  60 to 65 degree weather and sunshine during the day were a welcome relief to the snow dumping on our home state. We spent five nights in Las Vegas. So far my kids seem absolutely unaffected by my absence. This is the first time we’ve left Sidney longer than three nights. I don’t know what I did to have children so independent, but it certainly makes my life easier.

Who would have thought Las Vegas has so many beautiful Chinese New Year displays in its casinos. We are not and I repeat not gamblers, so the gambling isn’t completely relevant. Instead there’s beautiful architecture, great food, nice hotels, mountains around the city, and plenty of places to spend quality time with my husband. I think this is so important for married couples. We’ve been married almost 16 years, so I think I have a right to some opinion. I see so many people around us spending zero time away from their kids. What happens after the kids are gone? We spend 18 years raising our kids out of what we hope is 40 or 50 years married. Descending my soapbox. 

Musings and Mindless Thoughts

This is going to be a super quick post so please don’t judge on the grammar and punctuation too harshly! Good thing that’s not the line I use with my customers. That’s the problem with blogging and work. They don’t coexist well together, and I’ve never juggled two kids, activities, Valentines to make, baths to give, kids to feed, geriatric cats to hang on my every move, and a husband that I think lives in this house somewhere (just kidding), and working this much. It’s a blessing that will allow us to make some much needed changes in our lives in the coming months. More on that at a later time, but it will certainly create more family time. At least that’s the objective.

I looked over at Sidney, and I see a little girl that’s no longer a toddler. I know you’re probably thinking duh isn’t that obvious? Seriously, I looked over tonight at her carefully selecting stickers and for the first time could see her in kindergarten next year (WHAAAA!). Good thing she still has those adorable cheeks. I almost came apart the day I realized Eli no longer had the chubby toddler cheeks that little kids have. He’d go nuts if he knew I was writing that for all the world to see.

So what’s up? Eli is practicing his trombone with vigor. It only took one song that sounded somewhere between a cross of St*r Wars and a military anthem, and he can’t wait to perform it in March. Sidney told me this morning she wants to read. I can’t believe how much more she’s learning in preschool than when Eli was the same age. If you recall last year at this time we were in the throes of sensory issues in school. We have seen a positive shift. She still has them, but she seems to know how to work with them when she’s in various situations that are causing her stress. We witnessed it for the first time on Sunday during the children’s sermon.

It’s really hard for kids with sensory issues to sit in a group and listen. Sometimes kids have a fidget ball or the teacher has them sit in the back. Obviously, it’s good that she’s in some random situations that test her a bit. Church is a safe place that’s controlled and obviously supportive if she’s having an off day. We’ve informed the person that does a majority of our children’s sermons what’s going on, so when she starts reaching around and pulling at her clothes, she knows what’s going on. I couldn’t have been prouder Sunday as I watched her work through what was happening. It was visible that it was hard for her to sit with nothing. In the pew she draws or finds something to occupy herself. Of course this includes the ladies in church that seem to endlessly dote on her every move.

Okay, I’m off to bed in a few minutes. Getting ready to go out of town with Tom and friends in the coming weeks. This will include a flight. The longest I’ve been away from Sidney. Eli is only concerned it’s only a week and not two weeks. He was here when we went to China with my parents. My mom claims he never so much as made a false move while we were gone. Yes we are blessed, because Sidney is equally as independent. I say it’s because I’m always here. They’re sick of me. Okay I’m really done now.

Nighttime Ramblings

It’s late, and I’m half asleep, but I’m determined to get in a blog. I’m solo for the next couple of hours while Tom works very late. It’s 10pm. Something about the remodel at our local car dealership and needing to install the system that sucks the exhaust out of the back of the car while it’s being worked on inside. Things I never knew, but I guess all this has to take place while they are closed. Therefore in a few minutes I will become one with the couch while listening to the din of my favorite nighttime viewing, old episodes of Fr*sier.

Sidney went from puke funk to a cold. I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but frankly the kid produces more snot than anyone I’ve ever seen. She’s such a healthy kid. She typically only has a cold for about four days. I’ve never seen anything like it. While the rest of us are hacking and coughing upwards of seven days she has an almost freakish way of being completely rid of something in a few short days. She’s only been on antibiotics twice since she came home.  Knock on something, she has only missed one day of school this year, and this was only because she had the stomach flu which only lasted for about a day.

 My cub scout became a boy scout over the weekend. Do you ever wish you could freeze time? I don’t know if this comes from the fact that Sidney is going to kindergarten next fall if everything goes as planned that’s another reminder my kids are growing up. Sometimes I wish I could freeze it all. Especially this age in preschool. I could still be a superhero in her eyes. I don’t ever want it to change!

Time to close my eyes.