Yesterday wrapped up three Christmas performances involving one or both kids in a week. In light of what happened, in Connecticut, I think this morning’s Christmas Sunday School program was something positive to focus on. I don’t think I’m unique from anyone else in the country that’s struggling with the gravity of the event which took place. So many lives senselessly taken. Unfortunately with a 10 year old is in the house, there’s not much that remains a secret. Saturday morning as I got out of bed and came downstairs to greet Eli, it was the first question he asked.

What followed wasn’t an easy conversation. How does a parent explain? I chose not to sidestep the facts. There were many children who died. We will never completely know what was wrong with the person who did it. We have to pray for the families of the victims. They need as much strength as possible. We talked about our faith and beliefs about the person who did this. I told him to talk to me if he has questions, and I know eventually something will come up in the car. Eli and I have solved the world’s problems in the car, always in the car. There’s something about mom being preoccupied by driving that makes it less threatening for him to bring up weighty conversations.

That’s when I made the personal decision the TV was going off. I no longer look at the news on the internet when the kids are in the room, and when I talked with my mom she passed along another piece of helpful information she heard someone talking about. Once you’ve talked about it with your kids don’t keep rehashing it. And I agree, there is no way Eli can comprehend the gravity of what took place. 

I almost think discussing such weighty matters will be simpler with Sidney when she’s the same age. There’s worldliness to her short time on the planet that’s unexplainable.  There’s an innocence that’s been lost. That doesn’t mean the sparkle of a small child isn’t there. I saw it on Thursday night at the end of the school Christmas play. As Santa came literally dancing down the aisle, Sidney’s face became 100% child. Her entire being was lit up and amazed at this man in a red suit. It’s a gift to witness. As the little kids were invited up to sit in Santa’s lap, she took off without hesitation, leaving her mother in the dust.