I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

I sit here watching Sidney engrossed in a cartoon on Netflix, and it’s nearly impossible to believe three years ago, she was a shy, scared, and withdrawn 16 month old. We are celebrating three years as a family of four. So many days have passed since our first meeting in a governmental building across the world in Changsha China. And on that day, despite the distance I felt from anything familiar, it was obvious to me I was in exactly the right place as I felt the natural ease of Sidney’s slight frame slip into my arms the first time.

Flying to Guanzhou

In that moment, it was blatantly obvious someone larger than myself was orchestrating the events taking place. Our prayers were answered. But, in the same moment I felt the world was infinitely cruel. I thought I had prepared myself for what it was going to feel like seeing children who had survived without parents, but I was ill prepared for my heart.  It was broken thinking about the nights she spent alone without a hug and kiss at bedtime, that cultural differences made her special need somehow separate from the rest of Chinese society, but mostly feelings which mourned her existence prior to the moments we were living in the building where we first met.  

What is this strange furry thing?

I was ripping her away from the only life she had ever known. She didn’t ask to get in a strange van for the first time in her life, out of familiar sounds, smells, and sights to be drive through mountainous terrain to be delivered to this harry faced man and strange speaking woman. This was all over her face as her black eyes studied me through the slats of her crib the first night. Over the next two weeks, we watched her slowly come out of her shell as she experienced the love and attention of real parents.

I’m so grateful; we followed the path God laid in front of our family. My life will certainly never be the same in the most wonderful way.