My Brave Girl

It’s -6F. Yesterdays, daytime temperature was 5F. Almost toasty warm enough, I could step outside with the kids after 20 minutes of bundling for 10 minutes of snow fun. My only oasis is my almost daily indoor pool lap swim. It’s 90 degree heat seems like an island paradise until I exit and the automatic doors burst open with icy cold air. 

Yesterday, there a snow storm, causing a school cancellation. Cabin bound kids typically create an environment of stored energy, but they both enjoyed a day minus running. And something strange happened. Sidney doesn’t discuss China, period. She shuts down. “No, no, China.” If there’s a meter for post-traumatic stress, she definitely registers

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Yesterday, she thumbed through her DVD’s. “I want China, Mommy.” Our adoption video typically plays out in one of the two following scenarios or both. Sidney asks to watch the video twice. Into the second time, she jumps up and snaps it off. “No more China.” Many times, watching the video is met with night terrors. Luckily, last night this was not the case. Instead, she watched, waiting for me to give the details as the story played out. She played the video four times with no nightmares last night. And yes, I was about to fall asleep by the fourth time, but I will let her watch it as many times as she wants.

This progress makes sense in the scheme of our week. A conversation lead up to Sidney asking to see photos of herself in China. We received photos from Half the Sky a few months after travel. They are precious. Sidney was delighted to see herself small as a baby. She looked at the Half the Sky staff quizzically as I explained they were her friends. Any association with Chinese people has been met with a negative reaction. We have to preface anything about Chinese people with, “they are good China.” I was pleased to see her smiling as we looked through the pictures. She had a night terror, but she was easily comforted back to sleep.

So, I know it’s time to move forward with making her lifebook. I started doing digital scrapbooking last winter, and I want to create an A,B,C book. So, ask me if it’s done next year. 

OK, off to start my Saturday. It’s supposed to reach a balmy 10 today. We are hoping it’s warm enough for sledding. I’ll let you know if there are any broken bones.