Update

It’s been a crazy week. Mom wasn’t ready to return to the working world. Typically, I am a composed person. I was definitely not composed after my first day. It was something I couldn’t control, and thinking back a couple of days, it’s something I can’t explain. I was in protective mode. Later in the evening, after my first day, I found the principal in the school. I explained how long we waited for Sidney to join our family. If I have the choice (and I certainly get that some mothers don’t have a choice, and I respect this situation 100%), I am going to choose to continue to stay home. Thankfully, it’s a very family focused Catholic school, and my quick return to work and sudden departure were met with respect. Many of the staff commented to one another, they had respect for my decision. Some even went to the extent of calling me courageous making my priority our family. 

I don’t need confirmation staying home is the right decision for our family, but if I did, Tom gave it. I began talking about the transition early with Sidney.  I was positive and upbeat. I saw a few indicators the concept was stressful to Sidney, but we were rational, taking a wait and see approach. This behavior began to intensify. Self-soothing behaviors we haven’t seen in a year began to resurface. Tom also took note. Let me interject, Tom is not an over analyzer. We both attempt not to read too much into her behavior, maintaining caution in how we treat her attachment. So I can say with absolute confidence, what we observe in our daughter is very real.  Tom and I decided together our family does not deserve to go backward. We have everyone in the family to think about. It’s not about only mom. Eli deserves to have stability in his house. Prior to the change, our family was in a very good place. 

This series of events was quickly put into perspective. We lost a child in our extended family due to a tragic accident. Heaven received a very special and loved little boy. His family will continue to be in our prayers in time to come.