Celebrating One Year as a Family of Four

I thought I might have so many things to say, on a day like today, but it has been such a profound year, it is hard to find the words which accurately portray what we have witnessed. Miracle seems like the most appropriate word. Sidney, as I have said many times, is nothing short of a miracle. She is a miracle not only for the spunky, energetic, curious, loving, dramatic, and beautiful child that she is, but she is tough, brave, and a fighter. We saw all of these attributes the first day we met.

I was as prepared as a parent can be for for her to be too thin, have a myriad of possible health problems, undocumented special needs, and issues with attachment. While we later found out she was fine, developmentally and emotionally, seeing her special needs for the first time was humbling. To see the way she functioned was humbling. Though we were scared and caught off guard, we knew we had a special purpose in this child’s life, and we were going to do whatever was necessary for her to fulfill her potential.

What I was not prepared for was her tough exterior. Properly describing her appearance would be one of a child who has experienced too much, in her short time on earth. She looked tough, like she had and could take care of herself. It is only over the last year that we have had the privilege of watching that tough exterior transform into a carefree 2 year old, her chest puffed out with confidence and pride. Though we sometimes witness that haunted look on her face in new situations, those days are normally far behind us.

Watching this transformation has made us richer as a family. We share in the small triumphs and continuously witness God’s grace for those who were otherwise forgotten by the rest of the world. It reminds me so much of my favorite story on adoption about the child throwing starfish into the ocean. A man approaches him on the beach and asks why he is throwing them back into the ocean, and the boy replies that if he does not throw them back they will certainly die. The man tells the boy, he certainly cannot save them, there are too many. He turns to the man and tells him, “I made a difference to that one.”

And we are glad we made a difference to “this one.” Making a difference to “this one” has meant watching someone grow who was destined for something so much greater than what she was offered inside the Chenzhou Children’s Welfare Institute. Of course, we know all the children inside the many orphanages in China have potential which will remain unseen. Someone languishing in one of those facilities could have the cure for cancer or go on to do significant things. Anything, really. When we are frustrated, by the unfairness of the world, we only have to look at Sidney to see our little part of the world flourish.

Sidney’s Chinese name Ningxia meant “to flourish.” That was the hope of the people who watched over her wellbeing all those days she spent before we finally became a family. Part of the flourishing, I have no doubt they intended, was taking care of her immediate health issues. Until we were home, we had no idea that outside of her limb anomalies was a vicious parasite taking her ability to sustain nourishment and properly grow. Now that I reflect on her health when she came home, I am certain this parasite might have taken her life. I was aware of this when it took two rounds of antibiotics to rid her system of something we are certain had been in her system for several months. We many times wonder if this is the ultimate reason she was found in the Chenzhou Outpatient Department of Hospital No. 3.

How overwhelmed her mother and father must have been without the support of a medical system which could adequately deal with all of her medical issues. For this reason, Tom and I will never pass judgment on her mother. It is my only hope that she or the person that ultimately dropped her off will find some kind of peace in this life. Each time she had surgery, goes to physical therapy, or accomplishes all that she has become, I silently say a prayer that her mother somehow internalizes that she is okay. I also do so, because she has given me this beautiful gift. Though we will never meet, on this earth, we will always be connected.

So, on this special day, I am simply thankful for all I have been given, for all that Tom and I will witness over the coming years, and for all that Sidney will accomplish big and small.